Turtle tales....part 1

Once a lady told me that she was writing a book about animals from a biblical perspective. She said that there were animals that could teach us very valuable lessons.

This must be true, since Proverbs tells us to consider the ant. Ants are some of the smallest creatures but they teach us a huge lesson about hard work and togetherness....God is so awesome!

I remember a pet turtle my daughter had. She told her boyfriend once that she liked turtles and he bought her one for Christmas! While we were out of town, he called to tell her, her gift had arrived.

I didn't think much of it....I like turtles too and didn't think it would be a problem. We got home and there she was. My daughter likes Etta James and named her in honor of her. Etta (the turtle..lol)was a petite little red eared slider with black shiny eyes.....she would peer at you...real mean like ....lol She wasn't afraid of us at all.

My daughter's boyfriend said that she had arrived via UPS from North Carolina in a Big Mac type container. They opened the container...it was full of peat moss. They said she parted the peat moss with her tiny sturdy limbs...and looked up right into their faces as if to say, "I made it y'all!!" Real Etta James like...lol. Boyfriend's mother said, "Oh I like her!"....lol

One weekend my daughter went away and informed me that I would have to watch her. Turtles are a huge responsibility....you have to feed them, change their water constantly...play with them, etc.

That rainy Saturday morning, I went to her tank and picked her up. She clawed and scratched, trying to pry herself from my grip. She stared at me...real doubtful like....I stared back at her.Why you so mean?, I said. She scratched me in response. I put my face close to hers and pursed my lips as if to kiss her (I didn't...I aint crazy..lol) and smacked "mwah"...she looked at me....and smacked back..."mwah" Uh huh...this aint just happen, I thought in my down home way....I did it again...."mwah"...."mwah" she smacked back.

Etta and I had fun that day. She became my baby....lol. I would feed her....I even took her to the Vet....when she got sick. The nurse at the Vet made a file and wanted to take a picture of Etta and I....to put on the front. Uh huh, that's a bit much, I thought. The Vet said Etta had become bored with her food and needed protein added to her diet.

I rushed out and bought her tiny blood worms and fish. This was certainly what she needed as she grew and became healthier.

Etta bought me so much joy....she love swimming laps at night in her tank...she would get under her sun lamp and *sun bathe* I would watch her swim and swim until I'd fall asleep.

Once, I was getting ready to leave the house and had to run upstairs to my bedroom to get something. She heard me coming upstairs and peered up at me as I walked in the door. I searched the bedroom looking for the item (probably my keys..lol) and she swam from one end of the tank to the other, following me.

I would frequently wash my hands in a lemon scented hand soap (you should constantly wash your hands while handling turtles) Etta would take a deep whiff of my hand, inhaling the lemony mist that would rest in my palm. She'd fall fast asleep, in that lemon scented valley...lol

I loved that mean green thing.

We used to keep her tank in the dining room. Sometimes I would get up in the middle of the night to go downstairs to pray (and check on Etta) One night I found her sound asleep, with her claws clutching the side of her rock. Her tiny shell was in the water (which was ice cold, but shouldn't have been) only her head was above water.

Her position spoke to me: No matter how dangerous the waters of affliction are, we must cling to the ROCK...CHRIST

Don't know how she managed to stay alive that night. Turtles aren't strong swimmers. She didn't have the strength to climb to the top of the huge rock she could only cling to the side. Etta was real trooper. That's when I decided to put her tank upstairs in my room, so we could watch out for each other, when the nighttime waters were cold and icy.

She came at a time in my life when I need so much peace. I had just gone through a very painful separation and had to immediately become the caregiver for a sick loved one. I was drained and depleted.

I did some research on baby turtles and found out that each one has their own unique personality. They find it difficult to trust. They are separated from their mothers and don't have anyone to care for them. Their eggs are buried in the sand and if they make it....which lot of them don't because other animals will eat their eggs....they have to fight to stay alive.

Much like my life, I thought.

I loved Etta but never got the sense that she completely trusted me. She was mean, feisty and skeptical.

One morning we put warm water in her tank....she loved the warm water and begin to swim her morning laps.....she swam back and forth.....back and forth....pausing briefly to give us a suspicious glance. Now she had grown much because of all the care we gave her and it was now time for a bigger tank. We had planned to get the tank...that day I think.

Anyway, she turned to take another lap in her tank and ran head on into the huge rock that she sunbathed on! Whew! that must have really hurt, I thought. I could tell by the way she was moving she was in pain. In her painful state...it was like she became confused and swam into the rock again....this time killing herself.

We have to be careful what we do in pain. Pain can cloud our judgment and make us delusional...causing us to create more pain.

At first, I thought she was resting. She had become real still...but when I checked on her later...she was dead.

In case you're wondering...no we didn't cry but we were very sad. Tiny as she was....she had become apart of our family. She took my mind off of my troubles and gave me a *project* to work on....I had considered getting goldfish or some plants or making a vegetable garden on the patio...Etta was more interesting than those things.

Women are nurturers and feel the need to do so during painful, lonely times.

To make a long story short.....we buried her in my daughter's boyfriend's backyard. It was so funny his mom had gotten attached to her as well.....they cared for her when we were out of town and when Christmas came that year...his mom had gone to the dollar store to buy wrapping paper and purchased a tiny doll outfit for Etta....lol....this is a true story folks...lol

Now I didn't go to the burial...lol....I went to work....they dug a nice place in their flower garden for her....my daughter's *mother in law*....lol....had bought a turtle made of stone to place in her garden. They buried Etta underneath.

After the burial, they called to ask why I didn't come to the funeral. I reminded them that I had to work. They said they were about the have the repast...lol

Turtle tales....part 2

It was a little over a month and I missed my pet. Actually my daughter's pet. "I'd like another one" I told my daughter one day while we sat, discussing Etta. My daughter said she didn't want any part of owning another turtle. She said it was too sad when Etta died and she didn't like feeling that way. Plus she felt like it was a huge responsibility.

I didn't mind...we still had all the equipment and I missed my routine of caring for a pet. Growing up I 'd never had pets, other than an occasional goldfish...who would usually die the same month.

Etta was purchased from a Christian company that Boyfriend found on the internet. Although red eared sliders were illegal in Maryland and couldn't be sold here, the company would sell you starter equipment and allow you to *adopt* a baby turtle. You even got the little adoption papers and everything...lol

It was settled in my mind....I wanted to to *adopt*. After much tripedation, daughter agreed and we set out to *adopt* another turtle...another girl.

One cool March afternoon, my cell phone rung, "She's here!" it was my daughter calling to inform me that Tia had arrived. Tia was a name that I had decided on a while back. Guess I'm corny like that, I thought after making my decision. I wanted to be able to say Tia the turtle...Tammy the turtle, you know,stuff like that...lol

"Oh my goodness! I thought she was dead. When we opened the container, she just laid there for a long while and finally she decided to move." my daughter continued.

"Hmph...I'll check it out when I get home..I'm just glad she's here." I replied.

When I finally made it home that evening, first thing I did was check on Tia. There she laid, scrawny and lame looking. Tia was gazing off in the distance and never let her eyes focus on any particular thing.

Guess the UPS ride was too traumatic for her, I thought.

I picked her up. "Hey, Tia!" I said real cheery like. Tia just let her limbs dangle and flop around. Her tiny little head flopped to one side, never looking at me. What's wrong with her? I wondered.

The next few days, I paid close attention to Tia. She seemed to be Etta's polar opposite. I started out with the turtle food...she seemed to eat that okay. She slept okay too. Still, during waking moments she failed to thrive.

All in all Tia was still sweet. She was growing slowly and seemed to like attention. I purchased a small play box for her and a stout little ceramic turtle. After placing her in the box, she immediately scurried underneath the fake turtle, but became sad again once she realized it wasn't real.

Maybe she needs a playmate, I thought after watching her just lay there one day. I immediately vetoed that idea after I thought how much work it would be.

Everyday, I worked on Tia. We would place her in her playbox and she would squirm around, sometimes landing on her shell, with her feet up. She would lay there looking depressed and helpless. The sight of that would make me rush to turn her over. I did a little research and found out that when they thrash around and wind up on their back, it wasn't good to help. They would instinctively learn to roll over. This would help to strengthen their limbs.

One day, Tia was squirming around and wound up on her back. She lamely moved her limbs around and then laid there real helpless like. She stopped moving completely, laid there on her back, cocking her head to one side.

"Get up, Tia!" we yelled. "Girl, get up!" Tia wouldn't budge. I reach down to help and her my daughter laughed and said, "Ma don't help her..she's got to learn."

"I know, I know" I said reaching down to turn her over. I looked down at her and warned, "Tia if you don't learn to turn over, this will be the death of you!" I turned her over and she curled up apparently traumatized by the event.

Tia grew slowly. I purchased her fish as I had done for Etta, it took her three days to attack and eat. The book suggested that you not feed them, so that they would learn to hunt and attack the live food. Tia seemed afraid of the fish. She would hide from them under the rock in her tank.

Hiding was what Tia seemed to do best, yet something amazing was happening. She was learning to trust me. I could pick her up and talk to her, she would not fight she would just lay there and listen to me. I could let her go and she would climb up on my shoulder and just lay there, looking at my face.

Tia was adorable. Once I was laying on my bedroom floor praying, as I laid there prostrate, I could feel myself going to another dimension as I focused on the needs I was placing before God.
At one point I just happened to look up at Tia's tanks and she had come from under her rock and was staring directly at me. I pressed my face against her tank...she reached up as if to place her tiny claw on my cheek. This tripped me out!

Tia didn't sunbathe like Etta, didn't seem to eat much or enjoy swimming laps. She would just sleep most of the time.

One thing for sure though, Tia LOVED Boyfriend...lol. She would come alive when she saw him and bonded with him quickly. He would play with her and talk to her all the time, she loved and trusted his hand.

I was planning to relocate. I had gotten laid off my job and my daughter was leaving to go to graduate school. Boyfriend was the next in line to adopt Tia. So it was set. Tia would leave for her new home in Virginia, in a month or so.

One cold Sunday afternoon, we played with her all day. It seem to be one of the most animated days for her...she did some little tricks I had taught her. My daughter's boyfriend was there and when he picked Tia up, she nestled her tiny little shell in his huge palm and immediately went to sleep. There they sat, Tia and Boyfriend resting on the couch as boyfriend watched a movie.

Tia was so lively that day we took several picutres of her, as she crawled around on the floor and played in her play box. She is coming around slowly but surely, I thought smiling, watching my hard work finally pay off.

I had decided to go visit someone that evening. "Time for Tia to get back in her tank" I informed boyfriend. She had been out of her tank pretty much all day and needed some moisture now. I filled her tank with fresh warm water, careful not to fill the tank too high. As I mentioned before, turtles are not strong swimmers. Her rock was always higher than her water, so that she could reach a safe place.

Our ROCK is always higher than our waters too, I thought.

I placed Tia in her tank. She'd always approached every new experience with a hopeless demeanor. It was as if she felt like she didn't have the instinct to figure it out.

I asked my daughter to check on her in a little while. She said she would.

When I returned from my evening out. There she was. She had possibly climbed up on her rock and dived into the water. She landed on her back and didn't turn over...she drowned.

I went in my daughter's room. "I told you to check on Tia, she drowned!" I was sad and knew my daughter hadn't checked on Tia the way I would have wanted her to. I knew my daughter felt awful, so I didn't say anything else about it.

Lifting Tia from her tank, her eyes were still opened, she had the look of fright on her face.

Now here the kicker. As I mentioned in Turtle Tales Pt 1. I was going through a very painful dark time in my life. I wasn't sure what I was feeling at times. With every new set of circumstances, I would respond either in anxiety or depression. I could be despondent for few days at times over the most simple things, often asking myself, what am I going to do?

While staring at Tia the Lord spoke, If you don't use your God given ability, your troubled waters will over take you and the be the death of you...'

He let me know that Tia had been given to me to show me where I was. She had the ability to turn over, the ability to rise up...but she focused more on her fear and the troubled waters and not her God given ability. She drowned in waters she could have easily risen above.

WOW!

Now Tia deserved nice little burial, but where, I thought.

I decided to take her to the duck pond located in a business park near my home. Often times I would go there to pray and cry out to God.

I found a tiny box for her and wrapped her in tissue paper, and there I laid her to rest underneath the weeping willow tree.

If you don't know who you are there are people waiting to assign you an identity....

God spoke those exact words to my spirit one day. This came, a few years ago, after a very well meaning woman tried to speak into my life. Truly she meant well...but clearly she was not speaking to who I was.....I immediately recognized this.

I started looking around at others and our society and noticed how this was true on so many levels. It's the reason we have gangs....it's the motivation behind many evils.

People really count on you not being in touch with yourself. It empowers them......

When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness what was the first thing that the devil went after? HIS IDENTITY!

In Matthew 4:3-10 the tempter came three times and tempted Jesus. The tempter said," If though be the Son of God, command these stones to be made bread....If though be the Son of God, cast thyself down...All these things will I give thee if though will fall down and worship me....(paraphrased)

The tempter tempted him to see if: he knew who he was....if he knew the Word....if he knew who to worship......

A person who truly knows who they are...doesn't have to prove it...they simply walk in it. Jesus did just that.

We (the creature) cannot know who we are until we know the Creator. Knowing the Creator is a life long process...so is knowing self.....the more we endeavor to know ourselves, the more he unfolds. Remember we are made in His image and likeness....we are given the ability to function like Him.

Now all this can be scary. People will become uncomfortable with you. They will reject and withdraw themselves from you. They like the you...that is not in touch with self. That *you* can be influence by them....controlled and manipulated.

I would say to everyone reading this....STAY ON THE COURSE TO SELF DISCOVERY!! You will find out some amazing things about yourself.....some beautiful things....some phenomenal things.

Some people won't take this journey because...you may have to face some ugly aspects of self before you tap into the true beauty....your uniqueness....some of the most beautiful precious stones come from the ugliest sources.....God has purposely hid them there.....

Others won't discover their identity because it takes work....they are complacent and uncomfortable with being.....alone or despised. To them it's a fearful thing. They stay in the midst of people who have influenced them...they feel safe there....they try to squeeze in other people's mold.

The person who knows and is in the process of knowing who they are, recognizes there is no mold for them....when they see one being formed by others they go the other way.

Don't like the kind of relationships....and friendships....that are coming your way? STAY ON THE COURSE OF SELF DISCOVERY....you would be amazed at what you will begin to attract....:)

I may never be popular....or accepted.....I am rare...what I desire is rare.....where I'm headed...is rare....only those on that same journey can accompany me.....

Only have people around you that celebrate who you are and what you bring......


See you on the journey,